For the New Widow - Deal Yourself a Deck of Joy - 52 Ways to Manage Your Grief

Your husband is dead. It is your first thought in the morning as you get out of bed and your last thought at the end of the day. You sleep alone. You sit at the breakfast table sipping coffee alone, and stare at an empty chair. Change is difficult and you wonder can you accept the hand life has dealt you.

You can. You will. Think new deck of cards. Think one joycard at a time.

Here are 52 ways for you, the new widow, to manage your grief:

What you'll need:

One package of index cards--at least 52. Allow extra for Jokers. Lined or unlined? You choose. Making simple decisions at this time in your life will help develop your self-esteem and confidence. Tell yourself, I am my own best friend. Then give yourself permission to have fun.

Spread 52 index joycardon a table. Seven rows of 7 cards, and one row of 3 cards. Make as many or as few rows as you like. This is your joy. Do it your way. Your goal is to make a happy memory.

Start with three blank index cards.

Card #1: Write a funny joke or humorous story, something that tickled your funny bone once upon a time on it.

Here's a bit of humor to get you started:

Q: Why did the man walk around with mushrooms stuck

between his toes?

A: Because he was a fun guy. (Get it? Fungi.) Okay, so you can do better. But, you get the idea.

Turn card #1 over and draw a design. Suggestion: Draw a Happy Face. You don't have to be Rembrandt to draw a circle. When it comes to personal joy cards, there's no right or wrong.

Card #2: Write your favorite quote. This widow thought up her own: And sometime when I wasn't looking I got a new life. Why not think up a quote of your own. And write it on your joycard.

Turn card #2 over and make your design. You remember, the same design you drew on card #1. Practice makes perfect. As you create additional joy cards, your focus will improve, and so will your artwork. Think Picasso.

Card #3: Draw a picture. Any picture. A picture of your house, your dog, your cat, a pink Corolla. Can't draw? Draw one stick figure wearing a bow tie; draw two stick figures dressed in top hats, walking two stick cats. Draw a stick figure parade. Can't do that? Cut and paste pictures cut from magazines, post cards, favorite photos. Don't forget the back of your card.

For the next 49 days, work at creating one card a day with things that fill your senses.

See a robin? Draw it.

Smell the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee? Draw a cup and saucer, and a puff of steam curling out the center. Can't draw that? Write the "coffee" word on your card.

Copy a headline from your local newspaper to a blank joycard. Put Quotes around it.

Did you hug a tree today? How about your dog, cat, grandchild? Hold that thought. Then write it - On your special joy card.

As you begin each new day, add a new thought to your brain, after the one of Him. Before you know it, you will have filled 52 joy cards with new memories and helped yourself process your grief.